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anDRiZZLe [userpic]

(no subject)

March 27th, 2008 (01:41 pm)





Last Friday night Teat and I were riding the trolley and at one stop this heavyset man with a hardhat fastened to his backpack sat down across from us. Then a middle-aged woman came up next to him and asked, “May I?” and he made some chivalrous remark and scooted over towards the window so she could sit down. She was drinking out of a plastic cup with a lid on it, like one of those souvenir cups they give kids at restaurants. After a few seconds, she said to me, “I just saw something on you that tells me you’re gonna be in control in your relationships. You’re a strong woman, and there might be some men that hurt you, and you might not die with a man by your side, but you’ll always overcome it and you’ll be in control.”

She then added some other predictions; the only one I can remember is that I would be a good grandmother. The man next to her was rolling his eyes at this point, and a woman across the aisle from us pointed to her teenage daughter and asked if the lady who read me could do the same for her daughter. The woman said she couldn’t read everyone, but she had just noticed something about me that she knew to interpret this way. After the man with the hardhat got off the trolley in a huff, the woman across from me said, “Now I can tell you what it is… your second toe is longer than your first.”

She said a wise old woman taught her that a long second toe symbolized a woman of control and independence. It’s so weird that I cross paths with a stranger who shares something like that with me given what’s going on in my life right now. Shit’s hurting, but I made a decision because I know where I’m at and what I need. I took control, and I don’t think I’ve given myself enough credit for that. Still, maintaining that control is what’s most difficult. Remembering why I made that decision and not faltering. This might mean being alone, but it means integrity.

And I wanna get back to that place.

anDRiZZLe [userpic]

(no subject)

November 14th, 2007 (11:14 pm)





"Expectations are resentments waiting to happen."

anDRiZZLe [userpic]

Usually when things has gone this far, people tend to disappear...

September 11th, 2007 (10:35 pm)





...no one would surprise me unless you do.


My entry from March 19, 2006 reads, "I want out of here SO badly." Ironic... cause I've been home for three months and I don't want it to end. I know when I move back to school and everything starts up again I'll get real busy and, periodically, extremely stressed... but I'll enjoy myself. I hoped this summer would be a lot of things for me... but it turned out to be so much more. Earlier this evening, I was pessimistic about summer's end... but I think it's going to be the start of something... something new... for all of us.

anDRiZZLe [userpic]

(no subject)

June 20th, 2007 (11:57 pm)





Why aren't you here to remind me that I'm better than this?

anDRiZZLe [userpic]

Summer Goal #2

May 14th, 2007 (09:41 pm)
current location: Library. WhOOt.





Sell all my coursebooks online for more than the bookstore will give me for them.

anDRiZZLe [userpic]

Summer Goal #1

May 9th, 2007 (12:19 am)





Re-start and finish Invisible Monsters. :)

anDRiZZLe [userpic]

(no subject)

April 20th, 2007 (02:16 am)







I want so badly to cry... but the tears won't come.




And to write... but the words won't come.




Apathy has overtaken me.




Everything changed and now I can barely recognize myself.




Oddly enough, I'm sort of content.

anDRiZZLe [userpic]

Inside her... there's longing... this girl's an open page.

March 23rd, 2007 (09:36 pm)





Wow.


I used to have so much to say. Not so anymore, I guess.


I finished my second quarter at UCI yesterday. Things have been going relatively well. I'm kinda in this state where I can't complain about anything and I'm just waiting for someone to rain on my parade. For some development to surface that'll remind me what angst feels like. As much as it's nice to be complacent, part of me would like an interruption... something to make me angry or sad or... I don't know... confused.


I like complication. I need something to over think.

anDRiZZLe [userpic]

(no subject)

January 21st, 2007 (01:22 am)

"We'll work as a team to stay happy forever."

anDRiZZLe [userpic]

So I realized something(s).

January 11th, 2007 (06:11 pm)
current song: M & D

I realized that if I really want to go somewhere with these journalistic aspirations, I have to start writing. For the newspaper, for on-campus magazines and stuff like that. Any decent internship is definitely going to ask that I have some stuff published. Scholarships, too. And the more I write, the more I (hopefully) get stuff published, and the more I have to choose from when applying for said internships and scholarships. I know it's only the first week of my second quarter of my first year, but I gotta be proactive. For reals.

Kid I'm right here.
And I'm not leaving.
And there's no way to make you stay.
But I'm saving all my worries for the day you don't need me.

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